Man vs. Video is a bit looking at the often ignored world of music videos, written by a self-styled asshole with a Lit degree. Artwork by Jimmy Wragg (@Sui42) and words by C R Booth (@C_R_Booth)


You can call me a party-pooper if you want, if anyone actually uses the phrase “party-pooper” these days, but my first thoughts when watching the start of A$AP Ferg’s new video for ‘Persian Wine’ were dominated by the rampant health and safety violations. To begin with, @00:23 we see a shirtless gentleman waving around an AK-47, which cannot adhere to any of the recommendations laid out by responsible gun-user associations. The whole thing just screams “blown-off nipple” to me.

If that wasn’t bad enough, a guy then climbs/walks on a ladder @00:37 with no safety equipment visible whatsoever. It’s a good job that A$AP Ferg & Co. decide to kidnap the man, otherwise who knows what damage he would’ve done to himself wandering around that abandoned building? I hope that @00:57 they’re praying for him to gain a bit more common sense; danger awareness is an important attribute for adults.

Something that the video re-roused in my mind is bewilderment over grillz. @01:07 we get a close-up of Ferg’s shiny, shiny teeth, which, as $$$WAG as they look, just make me think about how you go about your day-to-day business with metallic dentures. Do you have to take them out to eat? Do they need polishing every night? Do they make your mouth taste weird? The more I think about it, the more it appears to be a sure-fire way to get a huge dentist bill.

Making the ‘Persian Wine’ video even more perplexing, a kid with grillz turns up halfway through the piece. If I wasn’t already confused enough about their role, this child muddied the waters further. What’s going to happen as he grows up? I suppose they could be handed down to other younglings, but surely they have to molded to a person’s dentures, making the whole thing a financial car crash.

So, in summary, I need a goddamn pair of grillz as soon as humanly possible.